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Do you hate it when people insult you and want to give them a nice, smooth comeback? Then forget the "your mom" and "your face" rants and follow these steps: ask them is that all you got?

Steps Download Article

  1. 1

    Be relaxed, as usual. If you get angered when someone insults you, you somehow automatically lose your nerves. So listen carefully to their insult, and it'll come to you easier.

  2. 2

    Don't overdo it. If you say something so complex and outrageous, no one will be impressed. Here's an example: say someone calls you fat. Don't say: "Well, I could use my belly to blow your skinny face into the ground." It just seems pathetic, trying to save face with humor. Instead, maybe try "Well it's better to be fat and happy rather than a stick like yourself."

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  3. 3

    Try to avoid saying "um" and "uh". All comebacks should flow perfectly. Try to avoid stuttering as well.

  4. 4

    Be clever enough to make it so they can't think of another comeback to your comeback. Like someone says you're the stupidest person ever, you could say, "And why are you telling me this?" The only thing they could say after that is, "Cause you can't do anything good."

  5. 5

    Put what they say to your advantage. This will help you get a comeback, and can embarrass your opponent as well! for example, if they say that you are disgusting, you can say "look who's talking" back.

  6. 6

    Pretend to be in a hurry and say, "I don't have time for this." Maybe an even better comeback would be "I don't have time for immature viewpoints such as yours", then walk away. It leaves them in the dust. Be sure not to sound panicked like "Oh crap! Oh no, I don't have time for this!" Make it so you seem superior to them.

  7. 7

    Don't use the same comebacks over and over again, even if it is good. That shouldn't have to be explained any better.

  8. 8

    Don't totally change the subject. If they say your clothes sucks don't talk trash about their clothes. You'll sound desperate to have a comeback. Say it gets you where you need to go.

  9. 9

    Be confident. If someone insults you, don't give up in the middle of your comeback. Example: "well, you're like...yeah...whatever!" Stay with it!

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Add New Question

  • Question

    What if someone keeps saying, "Did your mom drop you on your head, is that why you're so ugly?"

    V Is Alive

    V Is Alive

    Community Answer

    You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window."

  • Question

    What if they said I'm a noob?

    Diana Quezada

    Diana Quezada

    Community Answer

    Say, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" Then walk away and smile.

  • Question

    What is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire?

    Community Answer

    You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there."

  • Question

    What is a good a comeback to someone making fun of my acne?

    Community Answer

    "At least I'm growing up. Unlike you, who wants to keep being immature."

  • Question

    What should I say if someone says I stink?

    Dana Khereba

    Dana Khereba

    Community Answer

    Tell them "Oh sorry, I think I accidentally used your perfume." I used that one a couple of times and it worked very well.

  • Question

    What can I say if a guy says that my hair is bad?

    Community Answer

    Own it. Say: "Yep, it's a bad hair day. Everyone has them. Although, I think you might be having a bad hair year." Then smile and laugh it off.

  • Question

    What do I do when somebody makes fun of my shoes or clothes?

    Community Answer

    Say something like, "Oh, I was simply trying to imitate you."

  • Question

    What do I say if someone calls me a wannabe?

    Community Answer

    You could say: "Wannabes get things done because they're always striving to better themselves". Or, "At least I am trying to improve myself, you suffer from the delusion of thinking you're perfect." Or, "Well, you are my inspiration." Or, "Do I get bonus points for looking like I care what you think?" Or, ignore the comment, laugh and walk away.

  • Question

    What should I say if my hair shoes and clothes get made fun of daily?

    Community Answer

    You can say, "I'm sure that 90% of your 'beauty' can be removed with a Kleenex."

  • Question

    What should I say if a person I dislike says "Shut up"?

    Aga Andrzejczak

    Aga Andrzejczak

    Community Answer

    Reply "You first" or "Why? Because I'm saying things you can't even come up with?"

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  • Make a mental list of comebacks for different subjects. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. They say you're dumb? Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain.

  • Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature.

  • Always act mature, even if you're really not. Especially when the other person is acting immature. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you.

  • If you have nothing to say stare blankly. Then when they're like, "hello?" you can say that you were practicing your poker face. If they ask what you are staring at, reply with, "That's what I'm trying to figure out . . . "

  • Have a standard list of replies that might work for you. Examples: "Well thanks for that bit of sunshine (or, breath of fresh air)!" "It's amazing, no one's ever told me that before ...!" "Well just let me know when you're going to buy me a better car, I'm looking forward to that!" "Thanks for reminding me why I'm looking forward to my next (class)(appointment)."

  • Find comebacks on the internet.

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  • Never try to explain your comeback if they don't get it, it will just ruin the moment.

  • Don't brag about a good comeback to the person you used it on. This also ruins the moment.

  • All of this insulting isn't good. But if you do get insulted, of course you need a comeback!

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